Small Steps
by clandestinedly
Summary: Jane and Maura try for the family they long for.  Rizzles
1. Chapter 1

**AU:** As always, I don't own anything - and this isn't a one-shot; there will be more. But that depends on what you all think, so please read and review? I'd be most grateful!

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><p>The first time it happened, both Maura and Jane felt anger, then betrayal and loss. Maura had said it was natural, to go through this grieving process and tried to remain as scientifically neutral as she could. She knew things like this happened hundreds, no, thousands of times daily to many people around the globe. Although they would never get over it entirely, they both knew that soon enough, the process would start again.<p>

The second and third times were equally as rigorous and hard, and the detective and the medical examiner still felt stung from their first loss. Skin was harder, veins tougher - reinforcing themselves tightly after each injection, each invasion. They didn't fall the second time, and so as they begun their third round, Jane insisted that this would be the last. The pain; both physically and emotionally taking its toll on both of them.

Maura had calmed the fiery detective down that evening, a source of peace and  
>tranquillity that was essential for both women to attain their goal. "It won't help if you're ... <em>we're<em> stressed," she had said, her hand running up and down the lanky detectives' torso soothingly.

Nodding slightly, the brunette inhaled deeply, "You're right. You're right," she admitted, repeating the mantra as if to remind herself. She headed into the bathroom and turned on the tap, the water flowing freely from the expensive basin mixer Maura had imported from Italy when they bought their apartment. She lifted the cold water to her face, before flattening her palms on her cheek and bringing them down her high bones before pausing under her chin.

Maura appeared in the mirror behind Jane without sound. Her smile had always been reassuring for Jane, a constant reminder of one of the reasons she had fallen so deeply in love with the medical examiner without consciously knowing it. A bright light reflected onto the mirror, drawing her attention to the silver band on Maura's ring finger. They were quickly approaching their third wedding anniversary, and as she dried her face off in the dark towel hanging next to the sink, she felt Maura's arms lovingly wrap themselves around her waist; their bodies slotting together perfectly.

"We'll get there," she spoke quietly.

"I hope so," Jane sighed, her hands falling and resting atop of Maura's. Light kisses brushed against Jane's shoulder blade and to the top of her biceps. Without her designer heels, the medical examiner was significantly smaller than the detective in stature.

The brunette smiled as she turned around to face her wife. "Have you taken your shots tonight?"

Maura nodded, she had taken them earlier; and lifted the bottom of her shirt to show Jane the quick-to-bruise area which was growing over her abdomen. It was a varied display of red and purple, the older wounds a light brown colour as the skin tried to heal itself.

Long fingers ghosted their way over the area, causing Maura to wince slightly and involuntarily step back from her lover's touch.

"Sorry, babe..." Jane apologised, a hint of guilt evident in her tone. When they had sat down and discussed this procedure, Maura and Jane had a long discussion as to who would be the one to go through with this. Maura had insisted Jane have the injections, the insemination and be the one to carry the family, to carry on the Rizzoli name. Jane had protested; after all, Maura didn't have a good relationship with her family, and this would be a genuine blood tie for her. The baby would be a Rizzoli either way, because Jane would be its mother. "It's not about heritage or blood," Jane began. "It's about our child, being raised in a stable, loving environment by two parents who will love he or she, regardless of gender, race, sexuality or any other of those societal hang-ups."

Maura's hazel eyes rested on her abdomen, "I just hope this procedure takes. I've followed the medication guidelines without fail; I've eaten the right foods, completely cut my alcohol intake. I've dieted and -" Maura was beginning to get frantic, and Jane could see her cheeks flush with colour. She was aware of the effects all of the hormones and medicines came with and she immediately put her arms out to steady Maura.

"Try and stay calm, Maur, your blood pressure... you're looking a little red. You remember what the doctor told us?"

Maura left the bathroom and made her way into their living room, sitting on their three-seater couch; Jane followed and stood in front of her.

"Yes...I know all the facts. I know that it's not guaranteed...and I know that it can take some couples even up to ten years to conceive," the medical examiner's voice broke a little, her pitch quivering as she wiped another tear from her eyes - another side effect of the hormones Jane had gotten used to. "We did conceive, Jane. I was pregnant. Our baby died, and we've not had any success since. Maybe it's just not meant to -"

"Don't even say it, Maura," Jane sat beside her, interrupting her and wrapping an arm around the blonde's smaller frame. "We are meant to be parents, and we will be. It will just take time, that's all."

"But what if it doesn't work again?" Maura rested her hear against Jane's shoulder, looking up at her, teary-eyed.

"If that happens, then we will try something else. One way or another Maur, we are going to have our son or daughter. I promise," Jane pressed her lips to the honey blonde, bouncy hair under her chin.

Maura knew that such promises were illogical, that you shouldn't make a promise that you can't keep; but right at that moment, it was what she needed to hear.


	2. Chapter 2

**AU: **Sorry this took me so long to update!

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><p>The procedure was over fairly quickly for something of such importance. The uncomfortable bed dug into Maura's side and the tissue paper sheet crinkled underneath her loudly with every slight movement. The room wasn't very big, it's neutral white walls high, and the fluorescent lighting making it un-naturally bright for what was a rather gloomy day.<p>

"How are you feeling?" Jane asked, once the doctor had left them alone. She squeezed Maura's hand, which she hadn't let go of once since Maura had been instructed to lie down.

Maura nodded, her hair bunched messily behind her head, the hospital-grade gown thinly veiling her wife's frame. "I'm okay, perhaps a little more apprehensive than I'd like to be but that's to be expected."

Jane raised the honey blonde's hand to her mouth, trailing kisses along each of her knuckles, her free hand sweeping the errant hairs from Maura's forehead. Maura's eyes rested on the ceiling tiles, mentally counting them as they waited and her body rested.

It wasn't long until they heard the door open with a click and Dr Callahan entered the room, clutching their file. "So," she started cheerily, walking around Jane and Maura and placing the manila brown file on the counter, before sitting on the white stool and pushing herself towards the couple. "How are we doing?"

Jane looked at Maura first, and then to the doctor. She hated when people said things like that_. We...Maura and I are doing just fine, thank you. I can't answer for you, though_. Jane held her tongue. Answering back would simply cause Maura more stress, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

"We're doing well, I think."

Maura nodded in agreement, "Yes, we're fine."

Dr Callahan looked at them both and smiled. "Good. As you both know, you can do a pregnancy test in about a week, and we can also confirm it via blood test a further week after that. Now," she stood up, picking up their folder and trifling through it. "If you're feeling okay, I'd say you were good to go. Everything looks okay on your notes."

"Thank you, doctor." Maura said, slowly rising off the table. She looked at the doctor with her big, hazel eyes; smiling weakly. _We know this may be our last chance, and I'm not sure how we'd handle losing another child._

"Certainly, and if you need anything else, just give me a call. I'll leave you to get dressed." Dr Callahan made a swift exit, leaving Maura and Jane alone in the room.

As Maura finished getting dressed, she wrapped her arms around Jane's waist, pulling her close. "Do you think that we'll get our baby this time?'

Jane's long arms engulfed Maura, holding her. She had learned not to get her hopes up, and she wouldn't be excited until she saw their baby at their 25 week scan. "I certainly hope so."


	3. Chapter 3

Three home pregnancy tests, a urine sample and a blood kit later, it transpired that Maura Isles was indeed pregnant. Not wanting to wait for the hospital blood tests, she had sent her own samples to the lab and had the results back in less than twenty minutes. Maura stared at her computer screen repeatedly, looking at the analysis that had been sent back to her. Jane had been present when she had taken the pregnancy tests, but they were both full of anticipation and anxiety after their last pregnancy, and they had decided to wait for the blood results before they even thought about celebrating anything.

Her cell bleeped again, the loud noise breaking through the silence and bouncing off the dull gray walls of the morgue. Jane had sent her at least twenty texts since Maura had sent off her sample. Smiling to herself, she stood and headed for the bullpen upstairs. This was not news you wanted to send in a text.

As she stepped into the elevator and the doors closed in front of her, the reality was only just beginning to sink in. Here she was, pregnant with her detective wife's child (well, minus the sperm donor; of course) and she felt her heart flurry with excitement. The lift announced that it had reached its destination with a loud 'bing!' and she could already hear Jane and Korsak jibing at Frost loudly. She headed down a corridor that she swore was shorter last time she was here, before turning in to the squad room. Jane mustn't have seen her enter the room as her back was still turned until Korsak sat up in his chair with a "Hey doc!"

Maura said nothing, electing to just stand in the threshold with a smile on her face. Jane spun around, her reflexes like that of a tiger as she snapped her legs out to stop her computer chair from carrying her halfway across the office with the force of her actions. No words were spoken, as Maura's hand delicately brushed her abdomen as she tried hard not to cry with relief, or excitement or sheer joy.

Jane stood up with trepidation. She looked at her wife, who was beginning to cry, and her eyes lowered to Maura's stomach. Last time Jane had seen Maura doing that was after they had lost their unborn child, and that was the first thought that sprang to her mind. In a moment of blind panic she stepped forward and spoke without thinking. "Oh, Maura..."

Tears were now freely flowing from the medical examiner's eyes, and she almost ran towards Jane, throwing her arms around her neck. "I can't believe it!"

Jane's arms instinctively closed around Maura, and she buried her cheek against her honey-blonde hair. "It's okay," Jane began.

Maura stepped back to look at Jane, her eyes a pink colour. "It's great, Jane. I know we are both wary of this, considering ... but it won't be like the last time. I can feel it. This is meant to be. This," she lowered Jane's hand to her abdomen, "_this_ is the start of our new future as a family."

Jane looked as though she had been smacked in the face by a breezeblock and most of the colour drained from her face.. "Wait, what?"

Korsak and Frost both stood up from behind their desks, seeing Jane's face. "Whoa, you okay there Jane?"

"Jane? Are you okay? Jane?" Maura had taken to shaking Jane to get her attention now, starting to panic a little herself.

"Wait...you _are_ pregnant?" Jane tried to gain some clarification.

Maura laughed a little. "Did you not just hear a word I said?" She cupped her hands around Jane's cheeks before kissing her deeply, eliciting hollers and cheers from the guys in the squad room. "Jane, we're pregnant!"


End file.
